Archive for 2014

“That’s your third cup of coffee this morning James!” a voice in the background jolted some sanity in his blurry morning. There came light taps on the back waking him up from the state of being in a dream to blankness soon came after. But still he was unresponsive like all life was sucked out of his being.

“Ok ka lang? (Are you ok?)” this words somehow made sense to him, though he's not sure if that was the only thing they've been asking him the past few minutes.

“Inaantok pa ako… (I still feel sleepy…)” he muttered with a stoic expression. He hardly slept the night before and it surprises him how his body manages to accomplish mindless clerical work despite the trembling caused by an induced insomnia. He was in a state of shock and his mind still processes the things he found out last night.

It seemed like today, his mind will be occupied by re-runs of obscure episodes, and it was something his short attention span somehow managed not to affect.

Certain words reverberate inside his mind, “I love you more…” that would normally end their conversations and he’d usually blush and feel that tingly feeling in his stomach. It was too good to be true for him and he felt that ever since.

He doubted himself. He thought it was just a “coping mechanism” on the part of his psyche to feel bad after the things he have gone through with past relationships. He found it hard to understand what his gut was trying to say. The feeling was so foreign to him that he almost began palpitating as every obscure thought became even more confusing.

He has so many questions to ask, yet he feels that the answer won’t be able to satisfy any of the empty feelings he now have.

It felt like a movie to him. Like everything was to surreal to be even true.

He grinned occasionally with no apparent observable reason. It would look like he was mad. But in his mind were myriads of experiences that resurface for they relate to what is happening to him now. “

"Have you felt betrayed so far in your life?” a friend asks him when a Tori Amos song played in the background as they were having this afternoon chats. “Luckily, I never felt betrayed by anyone so far” he pronounced. Then he realized that there would always be that first time. That first time that would shock all your senses, trample all your perceived ideals and destroy mercilessly the innocence and purity of love you once held sacred. That first time was happening now.

The plane ticket, the panda bear, Toto, the blackberry phone, the three unproductive months, the unnecessary guilt, the daydreaming, the control, the fears, the lies and deception, the escalation of commitment, the excitement, every freaking little thought that float his mind towards memories that felt like euphoria before and now knives that stabs every part of his being.

“What the f***” he bitterly move his lips to reverberate sounds he never imagined he could mutter. He hates cursing but somehow he understands now why some people do it all the time.

He doesn't know if it was his ego or heart that ached more. The shock he had since yesterday is starting to wear off. He fears the time it will come to him fully. In that moment, the grief started and a decision has to be made. He wanted a confrontation though he knows deep inside it would end in endless sobbing on his part. He wanted to just the same. But the circumstances dictated him to wait. It was one of these moments that he really felt the agony of waiting. The feeling when your efforts do not translate to comparable developments and all you could do is wait that somehow it will eventually.

He called up a friend and all he had to say was “You’re smart; I believe you know what to do…”

Frankly, he knows, but he still wishes he would not have to do what his rational self wants.

It would be one of the hardest things he should do…

Note: This is a work of fiction.

Photo Credits : Fotohungry

It was a stroke of luck that work got canceled on the 31st of October, and since it was also the last day of free admission at the National Museum, I decided to make it a museum day.

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Being fond of old things and ogling it was only natural that I enjoy visiting museums. The last time I visited one was when I was in Singapore and that was maybe one of the highlights of my trip. That was probably what I loved about the place, there were so many museums and they were mostly open for free in the public (if you care to know the schedules when they are free).

Anyway, I was up early and was one of the few early birds in the National Art Gallery. There were quite a lot of people waiting and they were already busy taking selfies in practically every picturesque corner of the beautiful neoclassical style of architecture built originally during the American Regime.

When the crowd were eventually allowed inside the swarm of people started to fill the galleries.

I waited for a few minutes in the main gallery where the Congress used to hold its sessions and now houses the Spoliarium of Juan Luna, until most of the children were deep inside the other galleries.

The Spoliarium is one intense work of art. It showed Juan Luna's complex and dark persona as an artist.

Most of the galleries were closed and the building was under renovation like all the other galleries. The three neoclassical buildings which include the former Department of Finance building (now the Museum of the Filipino People), the National Art Gallery and the Department of Tourism (which would become the Museum of National History by 2015) would become as the Museum Precinct of Manila in the area of Rizal Park.

One of my most favorite part of the National Art Gallery would be the former Senate.

I have this penchant with high ceilings and neoclassical Renaissance structures and the former Senate is an eye candy. It exudes a regal and formal atmosphere with the various statues that ornament the structure.

The Museum of the Filipino People located just across the National Art Gallery houses artifacts and dioramas explaining our ancient and native culture.

It was 2012 when I last visited this and the place was relatively the same except now that I get to savor every gallery unlike during regular days where there are a lot of people.

The last stop for my trip would be the Planetarium located between the Japanese and Chinese Gardens in Rizal Park.

The Planetarium constructed during the Marcos era needs some serious renovation though. There were only a handful of people when I was there so there was no light show (at least 50 people are needed). Not only that, there were some leaks throughout the gallery which for a klutz like me is very dangerous.

Despite the heat, being photographer for random strangers and being mistaken as a curator because I was lingering in the galleries, the whole Museum Day was enjoyable. Seeing the plan for the museum complex by 2015, I'm excited to revisit the galleries when they are completed.

“Do not fall in love with people like me.
I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth.I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.”

― Caitlyn Siehl, Literary Sexts: A Collection of Short & Sexy Love Poems

“I thought I was over him but I love him.Big deal. So you fell in love with someoneI really miss him..so miss him…send him some light and love every time you think of him, then drop it.”
- Eat. Pray. Love

@rdvlsco

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“I thought I was over him but I love him.Big deal. So you fell in love with someoneI really miss him..so miss him…send him some light and love every time you think of him, then drop it.”- Eat. Pray. Love

@rdvlsco

Recent Posts

Archive

“I thought I was over him but I love him.Big deal. So you fell in love with someoneI really miss him..so miss him…send him some light and love every time you think of him, then drop it.”
- Eat. Pray. Love