Panic Before Christmas
Let me panic for a moment.
Today is the 25th day of November and 30 days from now will be Christmas. My usual thoughts of excitement and happiness about the coming days has been replaced with worry and panic. I cringe at the thought of Christmas only a month from now and with my current situation, it looks like I'll be spending the holidays still unemployed.
I didn't expect it to come to this, I had everything all figured out. I'll continue with my prospects until September or October. Submit to schools just in case I can have a part-time lecturing stint and accept the job before the year ends. However, this was not the case apparently and now panic rises inside of me when I think about it.
Everything seemed to be in order. I had been accepted at a school for part-time work and my prospects are quick in their process. I was confident with my decisions that I splurged some of my savings which would have stretched me comfortably until the first quarter of next year. I was very confident with the pace of things that I turned down the teaching post (I thought I'd be assigned in Makati so accepting it and quitting halfway the semester is very unprofessional) and discontinuing an application for a job in Clark.
I was left with two choices and I've finished the process and waiting for the call. Initially, I was torn which one to choose to a point of thinking to accept whichever offer first. Good thing no party offered quickly or I'll be damned again. I had a bit of time to ponder which offer to take. I recalled the reasons when I was contemplating on my resignation a few months ago. I wanted to earn more and start a new career path.
Both have something to offer and it was very difficult to choose. The first one was a Bank with pretty good compensation and benefits while the other offers a challenging work with a fair income. I preferred the latter but is open with the first.
The moment of truth came when the Bank called and I was up for proposal to the Branch Manager in Clark. I asked for an hour to collect my thoughts whether to accept the offer or not. An hour passed and I called the Bank to say I am withdrawing my application.
With that, I've raised my stakes again and left with my decision. I was fairly confident with the remaining option because of the positive results of my final interview. I never learned from my previous experience. An employer can just stop the process without informing the applicant. So I panicked.
Just to end the spiraling emotions I was experiencing, I decided to email the company and ask for a status of my application. They were honest enough to say that the decision would come at best before the year ends, hopefully. I have no power or control with that and they have all the right to do their jobs and carry out their processes. So, I sucked it up.
Honestly, I was worried and anxious for days and I acknowledged those feelings. But, with a conscious effort, I sucked it up and brushed the negative thoughts aside, how difficult it might be. Yes, I still think about it one or twice but I only let it for a moment.
Worrying can be a paralyzing habit and now is not the time for that. So, with a hopeful attitude, I started again and luckily my prospects are responding well. In fact, last Monday I took an initial assessment for a Management Associate Program by an Aviation repair and maintenance company.
I'll get there somehow, I will make sure of that even if I had to limp my way through the journey (but that's optional lol). Perhaps, all this extra time and the challenges that come with the journey is for the better - it always is.
Que sera sera.
I didn't expect it to come to this, I had everything all figured out. I'll continue with my prospects until September or October. Submit to schools just in case I can have a part-time lecturing stint and accept the job before the year ends. However, this was not the case apparently and now panic rises inside of me when I think about it.
Everything seemed to be in order. I had been accepted at a school for part-time work and my prospects are quick in their process. I was confident with my decisions that I splurged some of my savings which would have stretched me comfortably until the first quarter of next year. I was very confident with the pace of things that I turned down the teaching post (I thought I'd be assigned in Makati so accepting it and quitting halfway the semester is very unprofessional) and discontinuing an application for a job in Clark.
I was left with two choices and I've finished the process and waiting for the call. Initially, I was torn which one to choose to a point of thinking to accept whichever offer first. Good thing no party offered quickly or I'll be damned again. I had a bit of time to ponder which offer to take. I recalled the reasons when I was contemplating on my resignation a few months ago. I wanted to earn more and start a new career path.
Both have something to offer and it was very difficult to choose. The first one was a Bank with pretty good compensation and benefits while the other offers a challenging work with a fair income. I preferred the latter but is open with the first.
The moment of truth came when the Bank called and I was up for proposal to the Branch Manager in Clark. I asked for an hour to collect my thoughts whether to accept the offer or not. An hour passed and I called the Bank to say I am withdrawing my application.
With that, I've raised my stakes again and left with my decision. I was fairly confident with the remaining option because of the positive results of my final interview. I never learned from my previous experience. An employer can just stop the process without informing the applicant. So I panicked.
Just to end the spiraling emotions I was experiencing, I decided to email the company and ask for a status of my application. They were honest enough to say that the decision would come at best before the year ends, hopefully. I have no power or control with that and they have all the right to do their jobs and carry out their processes. So, I sucked it up.
Honestly, I was worried and anxious for days and I acknowledged those feelings. But, with a conscious effort, I sucked it up and brushed the negative thoughts aside, how difficult it might be. Yes, I still think about it one or twice but I only let it for a moment.
Worrying can be a paralyzing habit and now is not the time for that. So, with a hopeful attitude, I started again and luckily my prospects are responding well. In fact, last Monday I took an initial assessment for a Management Associate Program by an Aviation repair and maintenance company.
I'll get there somehow, I will make sure of that even if I had to limp my way through the journey (but that's optional lol). Perhaps, all this extra time and the challenges that come with the journey is for the better - it always is.
Que sera sera.
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